Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
More Quotes by George Burns
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you’ll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.
Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.
What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family.
Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Do butterflies feel humans in their stomach when they're in love?
The greatest happiness is to know the source of unhappiness.
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.
Happiness is a warm puppy.
I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
If you're a part of my family, I will love you violently.
When you look at your life the greatest happinesses are family happinesses.
Happiness is anyone and anything that's loved by you.
Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty.
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.
Friends come and go like waves of the ocean but the true ones stick like an octopus on your face.
Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe. So basically a clown ninja.
I love you, even when you fart in your sleep.
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