Quote by Charles M. Schulz

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I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.

I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.

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Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. Albert Einstein
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All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. Charles M. Schulz
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People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you’ll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.
People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you’ll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow. Erma Bombeck
Funny Quotes Marriage
Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.
Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.

Oprah Winfrey

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Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand. Anonymous
About Love Funny Quotes Love Is
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. Woody Allen
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Do butterflies feel humans in their stomach when they're in love?
Do butterflies feel humans in their stomach when they're in love? Anonymous
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Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.

Jack Benny

Beautiful Funny Quotes
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. Benjamin Franklin
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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

George Burns

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Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. Erma Bombeck
Funny Quotes Marriage
Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty. - Helen Rowland
Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty. Helen Rowland
Funny Quotes Kiss You Marriage
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox. Woody Allen
Funny Quotes
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Rita Rudner

Funny Quotes Marriage
The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.
The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty. Woody Allen
Funny Quotes
Friends come and go like waves of the ocean but the true ones stick like an octopus on your face.
Friends come and go like waves of the ocean but the true ones stick like an octopus on your face. Anonymous
Funny Quotes
Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe. So basically a clown ninja.
Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe. So basically a clown ninja. Anonymous
Funny Quotes
I love you, even when you fart in your sleep.
I love you, even when you fart in your sleep. Anonymous
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Stop waiting for Prince charming. Get up and find him, the poor guy may be stuck in a tree or something.
Stop waiting for Prince charming. Get up and find him, the poor guy may be stuck in a tree or something. Anonymous
Finding Love Funny Quotes
Everyone comes with baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack.
Everyone comes with baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack. Anonymous
Funny Quotes Inspirational
Do you know why a previous relationship is called Ex? It's not the term for past. Ex is short for Expired.
Do you know why a previous relationship is called Ex? It's not the term for past. Ex is short for Expired. Anonymous
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I love my relationship with my bed. No commitment needed. We just sleep together every night.
I love my relationship with my bed. No commitment needed. We just sleep together every night. Anonymous
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I vow to never wear a flannel night gown if you vow to never do a comb over. - Anonymous
I vow to never wear a flannel night gown if you vow to never do a comb over. Anonymous
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Let's flip a coin. Heads, I'm yours. Tails, you're mine. - Anonymous
Let's flip a coin. Heads, I'm yours. Tails, you're mine. Anonymous
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We've been friends for so long. I can't remember which one of us is the bad influence. - Anonymous
We've been friends for so long. I can't remember which one of us is the bad influence. Anonymous
Friendship Funny Quotes

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