Quote by Woody Allen
The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.
People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you’ll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.
Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
Love is like jumping out of an airplane knowing that someone else has packed your chute. You pull the cord hoping that a canopy opens up, but it could very well be packed full of dirty laundry and a half eaten cheese sandwich.
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Friends come and go like waves of the ocean but the true ones stick like an octopus on your face.
Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe. So basically a clown ninja.
Stop waiting for Prince charming. Get up and find him, the poor guy may be stuck in a tree or something.
If your significant other is mad at you put a cape on them and say “Now you're super mad!”. If they laugh, marry them.