Quote by Woody Allen
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you’ll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.
Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty.
Love is like jumping out of an airplane knowing that someone else has packed your chute. You pull the cord hoping that a canopy opens up, but it could very well be packed full of dirty laundry and a half eaten cheese sandwich.
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.
Friends come and go like waves of the ocean but the true ones stick like an octopus on your face.
Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe. So basically a clown ninja.
Stop waiting for Prince charming. Get up and find him, the poor guy may be stuck in a tree or something.
If your significant other is mad at you put a cape on them and say “Now you're super mad!”. If they laugh, marry them.
Everyone comes with baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack.
Do you know why a previous relationship is called Ex? It's not the term for past. Ex is short for Expired.