Quote by Rita Rudner
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you’ll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty.
Women marry men hoping that the man will change. Men marry women hoping the woman will not change. Inevitably, they both end up disappointed.
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.
Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.
Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
I tried marriage. I'm 0 for 3 with the marriage thing. So, being a ballplayer - I believe in numbers. I'm not going 0 for 4. I'm not wearing a golden sombrero.
Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.
Married love between man and woman is bigger than oaths guarded by right of nature.
Every year has brought us more love as a husband and wife, you are my heart's delight, and I can't wait to see what this year brings for us.
Love is like jumping out of an airplane knowing that someone else has packed your chute. You pull the cord hoping that a canopy opens up, but it could very well be packed full of dirty laundry and a half eaten cheese sandwich.
Almost all married people fight, although many are ashamed to admit it. Actually a marriage in which no quarreling at all takes place may well be one that is dead or dying from emotional undernourishment. If you care, you probably fight.
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.