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I vow to never wear a flannel night gown if you vow to never do a comb over. - Anonymous

I vow to never wear a flannel night gown if you vow to never do a comb over.

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Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.

Albert Einstein
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.

Charles M. Schulz
People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you’ll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.

People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you’ll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.

Erma Bombeck
Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.

Oprah Winfrey
Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.

Anonymous

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

Woody Allen
Do butterflies feel humans in their stomach when they're in love?

Do butterflies feel humans in their stomach when they're in love?

Anonymous

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.

Jack Benny
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

Benjamin Franklin

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

George Burns
I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.

I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.

Charles M. Schulz
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.

Erma Bombeck
Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty. - Helen Rowland

Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty.

Helen Rowland
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.

Woody Allen
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Rita Rudner
The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.

Woody Allen
Friends come and go like waves of the ocean but the true ones stick like an octopus on your face.

Friends come and go like waves of the ocean but the true ones stick like an octopus on your face.

Anonymous
Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe. So basically a clown ninja.

Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe. So basically a clown ninja.

Anonymous
I love you, even when you fart in your sleep.

I love you, even when you fart in your sleep.

Anonymous
Stop waiting for Prince charming. Get up and find him, the poor guy may be stuck in a tree or something.

Stop waiting for Prince charming. Get up and find him, the poor guy may be stuck in a tree or something.

Anonymous
Everyone comes with baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack.

Everyone comes with baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack.

Anonymous
I vow to love all of you. Snoring included.

I vow to love all of you. Snoring included.

Anonymous
Do you know why a previous relationship is called Ex? It's not the term for past. Ex is short for Expired.

Do you know why a previous relationship is called Ex? It's not the term for past. Ex is short for Expired.

Anonymous
I love my relationship with my bed. No commitment needed. We just sleep together every night.

I love my relationship with my bed. No commitment needed. We just sleep together every night.

Anonymous
I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness and to have the patience that love demands. I vow to speak when words are needed and to share the silence when they are not. I vow to live within the warmth of your heart. - Anonymous

I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness and to have the patience that love demands. I vow to speak when words are needed and to share the silence when they are not. I vow to live within the warmth of your heart.

Anonymous

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